


(I Dreamed I Had You) In My Arms

by mrfreddyjones



Series: Thallen Fall Week 2015 [5]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Past Character Death, Spoilers for S01, canon until the s01 finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-30
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-28 22:52:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5108549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrfreddyjones/pseuds/mrfreddyjones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You’re not here,” he says, bitterly, biting his lower lip. “I dreamed of you the other day,” he says, then.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(I Dreamed I Had You) In My Arms

**Author's Note:**

> Written for day five of Thallen Fall Week, October 30: Free Day.  
> Title from the song You Are My Sunshine, by Carly Simon (originally by the Pine Ridge Boys).  
> Spoilers for the S01 finale.  
> Sort of sequel to day four’s [When I Think Of All The Places I Just Don't Belong](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5101319/chapters/11733728), but can be read as a stand-alone.

“I miss you.”

Barry’s voice was low, but still loud against the background noise – or lack thereof. His hands were buried deep in his pockets, the cold night wind breaking against his skin almost painfully. He wasn’t wearing his Flash costume, hadn’t since that night, instead opting for a long, dark raincoat, a black shirt, and dark jeans. The Flash was no more. “Iris is a mess,” he said, a small chuckle passing his lips, void of any humor. “She hasn’t been eating, hasn’t been sleeping. She kind of feels like the black hole swallowed her, too.”

There was a moment of silence.

“We both do.” He let out a shaky breath, looking up to the sky – away from the grave. Most days, talking to the moon felt better than talking to the stone. “But of course, _I_ can’t be a mess. Because nobody knew.” Barry’s tongue comes out, wetting his lips quickly. There are no stars in the sky, and most of the moon is hidden behind clouds as well. The former Scarlet Speedster only comes at night, deep into the night, when there’s not a living soul around to hear him, which is why he feels comfortable to shout. “ **Nobody knew!** ” He screams to the skies, so loud his throat feels bare. His next words are whispered. “Not even you”

Tears are filling his eyes now, and he takes a hand out of his pocket, letting his fingertips brush against the cold marble. Eddie’s gravestone is beautiful, but also incomplete. It doesn’t say anything about him being the man who saved Central City, or his courage, or everything he gave up to save them all. It doesn’t say that he died a hero. It’s incomplete.

It’s also meaningless.

“You’re not here,” he says, bitterly, biting his lower lip. “I dreamed of you the other day,” he says, then. “You were smiling that smile of yours, the one you do when you think Iris can’t see you.” He takes a breath. “But you were doing it at me this time.” The words weighted on Barry’s mind, an escape and a reminder of what could’ve been and would never be. “I keep dreaming about Sundays with you. I don’t know what it means, but we’re always so happy. Maybe I’m just in denial.”

He kneeled in front of the stone, talking to an empty grave.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” he was crying, now. The tears running hot down his face, a direct contrast with the cold winter night. “I should’ve said something. I should’ve done something, should’ve kept you safe.”

He wondered what Eddie would say. What he would do, how he’d react, if Barry really had said something. If he’d confessed his feelings. Would they be together? Would Eddie return his feelings?

He’d never know.


End file.
